Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Hilarious/Awesome things Henry says:

Oftentimes when he wakes up, he’ll sing “Oh DAAAA-aaad” or “oh MOOOO-ooom” to get our attention.

One day he asked “What’s my middle name” and we told him “You were named after your Great-Grandpa. Your middle name is Wallace. Henry Wallace Johnson” We waited a minute, then asked “What’s your middle name?” and he replied “Henry Walrus Johnson.”

One day in the car he was making a gesture with his hands where his thumb was out and his index and pinky fingers were up in the air. Penny asked “Are you doing Spider-man? Or do you have a booger?” He looked at us like we were idiots and said “No Mom, this is how you Rock Out.”

He loves the TV show Little Einsteins and usually requires us to include them in his bedtime stories. Lots of times he asks for Mama and Daddy and Henry and Little Einsteins to go on adventure. Sometimes he asks for Gramps & Auntie Joyce or Grandma, sometimes Penny from Bolt, or Penny from the Rescuers. Sometimes Wall-E, Mowgli from The Jungle Book, sometimes friends we have seen that day, sometimes members of the Detroit Tigers (usually Magglio Ordonez a.k.a “Maggs”).

When he plays baseball, he assigns us all to be different players. He used to always be Maggs, but lately he’s wanted to be Cabrera Maggs. Usually Dad is Justin Berlander and sometimes Mom is Justin Berlander too…occasionally Curtis Granderson and seldom Ramon Santiago.

He knows the difference between a home run and a foul ball, but often runs the bases on foul balls because it is fun.

Once at the coffee shop, we asked him if he liked bagels or donuts better and he replied “Bagels AND donuts” and we couldn’t argue with that.

He used to say he had a baby growing in his stomach. When we asked him what kind of baby was in there he said “Chocolate Chip.”

Penny caught a minnow in a net at the cottage and Henry named the fish “Henry Roger Federer.”

When we play tennis, he is always Roger Federer and we are always Andy Roddick.

He calls our dog Daisy “Daze” and always says “Oh, hi Daze” whenever he sees her.

When playing with a deck of cards, he can identify Hearts, Diamonds, Little Trees and Shovels.

He is obsessed with Bad Guys and Good Guys. If we flip through a magazine or a book, he needs to ask us if some people are good guys and others are bad guys.

His favorite color is green.

His stuffed toy Eeyore is his “best buddy” according to him. He also has said his mom is “the greatest in the whole world ever.”

He grew two tomato plants from seeds at school this summer and named them Henry Helicopter and Boot Shoe (which we think may be from the movie Wall-E where there is a plant growing inside a boot).

There was a price tag on the side of a recipe box and we asked him what the numbers were. Out of the blue he said “H-E-N-R-Y” (which was incorrect, but surprised the hell out of us).

He is a very sweet boy who is not afraid to give a handshake to a stranger or hugs to those he knows.

His friends at school are Katie Lew, Harry (who was born on the same day he was), Isabella and Parini Beanie. His favorite teacher is Miss Stephamie.

His favorite songs are:
“I’m Amazed” by My Morning Jacket
“Aluminum Park” by My Morning Jacket
“I Will Sing to You” by My Morning Jacket
“Get on Your Boots” by U2 (renamed “Let’s Have Some Juice”)
The soundtrack to “The Point” by Harry Nilsson
“All Together Now” by The Beatles
“Road Hog” by John D. Loudermilk
“The Car Song” by Woody Guthrie
“Hot Rod Lincoln” by Johnny Bond
“I Wanna Be Like You” from the Jungle Book (a.k.a. “The Monkey Song”)
“A-Punk” by Vampire Weekend (a band that he calls “Umpire Weekend”)

Sometimes when he’s eating something he likes, he’ll need to get up and do a silly dance because he likes it so much.

He can get occasionally pissy. If we don’t allow him to do the thing he wants to do he’ll frown and say “PLEASE!” with a tone that is furiously demanding (and not at all polite). If he goes too far, we’ll start counting to three. He usually says “I don’t like it when you COUNT!” Sometimes we accuse him of being a toilet.

He loves to play pirates in the front yard with foam swords. He’ll stand on a piece of grass and say “This is MY SHIP!” Sometimes sharks chase him when he says this. He is very concerned with who is a good pirate and who is a bad pirate. He is always a good pirate. He’ll say “YAR, all you Mateys!” then attack us with his sword.

When he wants to be picked up and spun around, he’ll say “Spin you around me” and when he’s tired of walking he’ll say “Put you up on my shoulders.”

He said “I don’t like beer. Only Daddy and Gramps like beer.”

If he tries any food he doesn’t like, he’ll say “Too spicy.” This can be mustard, salt potato chips, or club soda. When he tried club soda one day he frowned and said “Yuck. Too spicy” then spent the next 5 minutes trying to wipe off his tongue. We often taunt him saying that we will have spicy mustard on his sandwich for dinner. When he protests, we say “Ok ok fine. We’ll just have extra SPICY MUSTARD for you” and he laughs.

His first joke was mixing up what Mater and Lightning McQueen said in the movie Cars. We would ask “What does Mater say?” and he would reply “Ker-Chow!” (which is what Lightning McQueen actually says). We would ask what Lightning McQueen says and he would say “Sheeeoooot” and then we’d laugh and laugh at his funny joke. He also makes the joke that you Stop at a green light and Go at a red light. We hope this joke wears off by the time he turns 16.

We were singing nonsense songs in the car once, where I would scat and riff for a while and then Hank would fill in with another nonsense verse. I had a line that had the words “Boodilly Boodilly” in it and Henry said “No Dad, not Booty Booty.” I asked “Well, what does ‘Booty’ mean?” and he said “It’s one of your butts.” This meant that from that point on, every verse needed to end in “Booty Booty Booty Booty one of your butts” to the tune of “Shave & a Haircut, Two Bits” which was hilarious.

When we were at Comerica Park to see a Tigers game, he whispered to me that he wanted to go “tickle that boy over there” upon which point he ran over and started tickling the Elias Brothers Big Boy statue which was holding a hamburger up in the air.

We were at our friends Jennifer and Kelly’s house and Henry wanted to play their piano. He started playing and announced “I’m playing fortissimo!” Thank you, television, for educating our child.

He likes school but really loves what he calls “stay at home days” (which is every day he doesn’t have to go to school).

Last winter he and his classmates made a snowman that they named either “Downtown” or “Ham sandwich” depending on who you ask.

When he was really little, when he wanted to get by somebody he would say “’Kyooze me!” which has remained in our vocabulary.

Lots of times, he’ll get a very focused look on his face for a few minutes, and then announce “I don’t need my diaper changed” (which is usually not the case).

Similarly, when he announces “I’m not tired” we know it is time for a nap.