The Johnsonian

Sunday, August 07, 2011

ThunderDogs Explained

Hank was whispering into his wrist communicator. I asked who he was talking to. Without hesitation he answered "My leader. We're called the ThunderDogs. My name is Wiley Pooch."

This was the explanation that followed:

It runs a bit long but I couldn't bear to cut him off, so forgive me.

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Easter Up Tigers, Easter Up!

We had a blast at our semi-bi-annual Easter Brunch with Gramps and Auntie Joyce watching the Tigers beat up on the Chicago White Sox.

Easter Up Tigers, Easter Up!
Hank took this photo of our view from the Tigers Club at lunch.

Easter Up Tigers, Easter Up!
The best table in the house.

Easter Up Tigers, Easter Up!
"I promise not to tickle you..."

Easter Up Tigers, Easter Up!
"...I was just kidding."

Easter Up Tigers, Easter Up!
Somebody's excited.

Easter Up Tigers, Easter Up!
Saunders Hot Fudge Sundae.

Easter Up Tigers, Easter Up!
Hmmm...maybe too much ice cream.

Easter Up Tigers, Easter Up!

Saturday, February 12, 2011

Fine Art

This museum piece is titled
"Failed Snow Fort with Discarded Christmas Tree"


circa 2011

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Game On

Hank has been really into playing games lately.


This post has some links to his fave games.

Harry Potter's Virtual Castle
A very fun and easy Lego game where the player needs to go from location to location getting keys and other objects.
This is one that Hank can do on his own. with just a bit of help.

Tangled: Double Trouble
A fun (mostly non-violent) game featuring Rapunzel and Flynn from the ht movie "Tangled"
You need to navigate the heroes through the forest and caves past the guards.

Toy Story 3: Daycare Dash
Guide Woody, Buzz and Jessie through obstacles in the daycare.
Not rocket science, but the player needs to decide which player to use for each task. That means it is educational. Shut up. It does.

Transformers: Capture the Cube
A blatant shill for Mountain Dew: The player needs to sneak around a hidden base disguised as a Mountain Dew vending machine.
Still fun.

Transformers: Stronghold
I have caught Penny playing this game when Henry is asleep.
You place Autobots on the tops of buildings and then defend against the Decepticon onslaught.

Lego Star Wars: The Quest for R2-D2
In this game you get to be a good guy or bad guy and try to fight your way to....something.
I dunno, we usually die before we get to where we're going.

The Avengers Bunker Busters
This one has some kind of carnival Big Top cannon where you launch super heroes at bad guys.

Agent Freeride
This game has a James Bond vibe. You're a secret agent who needs to snowboard past bad guys to safety.
Another fun one for grown-ups. Plus the name sounds like a Foghat song,.

Sunday, January 23, 2011

DJ Hank

Hank wanted to hear a super hero story so I dug out my old SpiderMan and the Bells of Doom 7" record.

He was intrigued by the technology.

DJ Hank in the House

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Happy New Year

Hank had a grand time on New Year's Eve hanging with his friend Oscar and he made it past Midnight. Shortly after the clock struck 12 Hank chose to crawl upstairs to the sofa and crash out.


Saturday, January 01, 2011

Kid says the darndest things: 2010 edition

More hilarious stuff Hank says:

"This soap smells like bacon and Mowgli"

[In the car] Penny - "Are you doing Spider-Man hands? Or do you have a booger?"
Hank - "No Mom, this is how you Rock Out"


Henry: "Here's your bookmark, Dad"
Me: "Thanks, I didn't want it marking the place in my 1,000 word book anyway."

Zac wonders if Dr. Seuss ever envisioned my son calling Young Gerald McGrew on his cell phone to ask him how things were going at his zoo.

My son would like to be called "Buddy Sneezer" from now on. Please make a note of it.

[Hank gave Penny a necklace he made in school] Penny: "Henry, this is very pretty."
Hank: "Its not pretty. It's PRETTY AWESOME."

"Jedis don't wear bows." - Hank talking about us tying his Jedi belt.

Hank and I filled out his first Mad Libs. It is pretty awesome.
My fave: Even though the moon first appears as a LABORATORY slice of light and finally becomes a full MOON, it doesn't change its BALL. The moon looks different as the LIGHT BULB sun illuminates its different SIMON SAYS

Hank spent the evening dressed as the Fantacular Spider-Man. My guess is that "Fantacular" is what you get when you multiply Fantastic times Spectacular.

"Did you have any dreams last night?"
Hank "I had a very good dream. I dreamed that Sully and Neytiri were winning and they defeated the bad guy and the bad guy said 'Aw Man!'"

Hank had a lot of info about "Chicken Pots" today. Your temperature gets really warm and you have to stay in bed. (This makes me nervous about what is happening to other kids at his day care).

Zac: "What kind of music do you want to get at the record store?"
Hank: "Um...How about awesome music?"

"There is a dangerous smell in these Rhino Bombs." - Hank, playing superheroes in the back yard.

"Dad, I like when it is raining and we can listen to music on your iPod." - Hank

Today Hank insisted that the Hispanic-looking Lego guy push the plastic wheelbarrow. My racism radar went off and I asked "Why does *that* guy push the wheelbarrow?" and he answered "'Cause he's in charge." Shut me right up

Hank got a balloon last night and named him "Sloppy McGee"...where he got that name is a total mystery to me.

Today Hank declared he was a superhero that could turn into a pirate or an Indian or a baseball player. Good Lord I've sired a Village Person.

Hank made up a story today where Batman was the lead singer of My Morning Jacket. It was pretty cool.

Hank's Star Wars musings for the evening:
"Why'd that fat guy in the X-wing have to get blowed up?" [Porkins],
"R2D2 can't bow" [at the medal ceremony] and
"What happened to all the guys on the Death Star?" [After it exploded].

"Han and Chewie live in the Millennium Falcon, but sometimes they go to the weird bar for fun." either George Lucas or My Son

Tonight Hank asked me "Dad, if Green Lantern farts, does green light come out of his butt?" Stay tuned, True Believers!

Hank's question of the day: "Why is Wonder Woman mostly naked?"

"A basement is boring, but if you have games in the basement then it is pretty awesome" - Hank on Pinball Pete's Arcade

Today Hank said he wanted to go to Gotham City and meet Batman. I wondered what he would ask Batman if they ever met and Hank said "I would ask Batman if he could get me a Superman costume." ... I wonder how Batman would feel about that

Hank's last words before falling asleep on his birthday: "Dad, I like being 4"

Tonight before bed Hank wanted to hear a story about Batman and Robin getting married. The biggest issue I had was determining whether The Flash would prefer to sit on the bride's side or the groom's side.

Playing rhyming games on the highway:
Zac - "What rhymes with Hummer?"
Hank - "Dumber!"
Zac - "Correct. I would have also accepted 'Bummer'"

Hank looking at three Jack-O-Lantern stickers:
"Mom, you're the skinny one, I'm the round one and Dad, you're the ... kinda ugly one."
Me: "I'm going back to bed."

Hank - "Mom, why is Darth Vader so much taller than Anakin Skywalker?"
Parents - "...Holy crap, that's a really good question."

Tonight Hank invented a new super hero: Sticky Applesauce Man! "He is a good guy who shoots applesauce out of his hands and is sticky!" (This whole origin story was played out with very accurate visual aids.) Into the tub with you, Sticky Applesauce Man!

Whenever we get out of the car I say "OK let's hit it." Yesterday, Hank was practicing talking like Yoda and as we were leaving the car he said "Hit it, we will"

"Dad, I think it's too cold to go outside today. That's my boring news." - Hank

Hank sez: "Today when I went outside I was so crazy that I shook my head like this and my eyes went like this and my brain made it look like milk was raining from the sky."